September 18th, 2011 Community Life Together – Truth Pt3

Continuing a series on one of Elevation’s core passions…Hang Out. After a while the honeymoon stage of being a church family wears off, but there is incredible power if we stick with it and forge depth and unity in our relationships.  So how do we deal with it when community life together gets hard?

If you want a study tool to go along with the podcast, see Lift Notes here:

Community Life Together: Truth, Pt. 3

September 18, 2011  by Kasey Crawford

We believe there is incredible power in investing in relationships with one another. But how do we deal with it when community life gets hard?  GRACE!!     (See Colossians 3: 1-15)

Within the community of grace there is an appropriate time and healthy way to confront someone with TRUTH! (See Matthew 5:23–24)

The way the bible describes community life together, speaking the truth to each other is one of the primary ways we grow!

Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.  Ephesians 4:15

But how do we speak the truth?   “…speaking the truth in love!”

Hear is your motives check that you take in prayer to the Lord before you speak the truth, to make sure its going to be in love:

(as love is described in Colossians 3:13-15)

Compassion-a gut wrenching feeling of what they feel.

Kindness-you want what’s best for them, not to prove them wrong.

Humility- expects that you might be off-base. “This is how I feel…”

Gentleness-guns are not blazing, no harsh condemnation.

Patience-we are content with slow progress , like our own life.

Forgiveness-we let go of the right to punish and entrust it to God.

So…when you have some truth to speak to someone, is your truth spoken in this kind of love?

If someone has a word of truth for us, how should we receive it?

Remember that: “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” Romans 8:1

Our natural reaction is to get ____________, if we are insecure because a less than flattering truth can be taken as a threat to our _____________.  But, God’s encouragement is that if someone is pointing out something you need to work on, just remember that whatever they say has nothing to do with your identity before God. It might reveal your ____________, but not your identity. In contrast, if who you are in God’s eyes is your strength and security, you can be set _____ to work on stuff, without threatening your identity.

If I speak the truth in love, what happens if they don’t listen?

If someone isn’t at the place to receive truth and graciously accept it (and repent if needed), God wants gives you the right to set some boundaries that ____________ you.  Matthew 18:15-17

“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you… (v 15)”

* (Community Saving Side Note) If someone starts sharing something with you about another person that is ____________, let’s get really good at quickly saying something like “It sounds like you have some feelings you need to share with that person, do you want me to help you process whether you are ready to speak the truth in love.”  Or “It sounds like you need to go talk to that person and work it out, so until then we should probably stop talking about it.”

“If they listen to you, you have won them over. (v 16)” Beneath most conflicts is usually someone poorly expressing a ______ that isn’t being heard.  So be an active listener, that hears beneath the whines.

“….if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. (v 17)”

If someone has wronged you, and you have shared it in love, and others have affirmed it, but that person is not willing to hear it, then they lose the right to have ________ to vulnerable places in your heart.

God gives you _________to set an emotional and relational boundary.